"It's been a long time, been a long time, been lonely lonely lonely lonely time..."

Almost a week since I rock and rolled with all my peoples out there.  Suffice to say, some pretty heavy shit has been going down in the tizown.  Last saturday was the first time I had ever performed an actual CPR, and it was the first time ANYONE has ever died on me.  Of all the times in my rotations on an ambulance, my rotations in an ER, of all the times at my actual job, transporting people and spending my time in an emergency room, no one has ever EVER died with me in the room.  Hell, I had even assisted with a partial ejection rollover highway accident, and the guy didn't even die then.  This guy though, this guy died.  And the sad thing was, there wasn't one thing we could of done to save him.  Oh, there were things the nursing home could've done, but he was so far gone by the time we got there, it was no hope.  This man was on so many blood thinners, his blood seeped through his colon, and filled his abdomen.  His nose was bleeding.  His ears were bleeding.  Hell, even his gums were bleeding.  From the blood tests done earlier in the day, his PTT was over 60, which means it would take his blood over a minute to even start to clot.  I did chest compressions in the ER, but a nurse came in before we shocked him and told us the daughter had power of attorney, and that they didn't want us to defribilate.  Of course, when we arrived to the nursing home, he was still breathing, looking about, and as soon as he hit our cot he was dead.  He just finally gave up.  Right then, it was probably the most real moment of my life.

And in other news relating to me, I figured out that this is what I want to do more often, I want to help people more, so I'm looking for other employment.  right now I'm talking with a couple places, one is a youth camp near Boston, where I would be the EMT in the health center, and the other is working on a 911 truck in a small city near Austin.  All throughout my time being an EMT, this was the time I waited for.  The time to be tested, to figure out if I can handle losing a patient.

Sorry, no funny rants or quotes or reviews today, but maybe y'all can understand.

I'll see if I can get that Appletise Players comic out on Tuesday.

News For 5/17/01:

"Tunak Tunak Tunak Tunak Tu-Tuank da daa daa daa"

That little gem of wisdom is from a song called "Tunak Tunak Tun" by the modern Hindi genius Daler Mendhi.  Daler Mendhi is now my favorite Singer, Songwriter, environmentalist, interpretative dancer, be-bopper, and is in a tie as my favorite Hindu with Gandhi.  I love Daler Mendhi.  I just recently found this out, because I just saw his first video today, which you can also viewhere.  It may take a bit to load, but I assure you, it could be the greatest thing you will ever see.  I quickly hopped on Napster and downloaded about 14 of his songs, and I'm quite impressed, indeed.  Even though I do not understand a word he says, which just adds to the mystery of Daler Mendhi (I even love saying his name).  With all this mystery about (canadians: a-boot) I searched his name on yahoo! and found his homepage.  Could a day get any better?  Why, yes it could, because the web site is in english. I found out that Daler dislikes pollutants!  In fact, I'll give you a quote from his web site "...His intense dislike for pollutants and addictions of any kind induced him to start the Green Drive movement."  I love you, Daler Mendhi!!

Before I found that wonderful, wonderful video, I was just gonna blather on about the new Weezer album.  I gotta tell ya, what a freaking disappointment.  There is not one song on the "Green Album" that has the same wit, inventiveness, or intelligence as "Pink Triangle", or "El Scorcho".  It's a good album, I guess, but I just expected so much more.  When you listen to the amazing lyrics of a song like "Buddy Holly", I think it's fair to expect the same caliber, especially since they have been absent for so long.  The first 4 songs on the new album are actually really good, and have quite original vocal melodies, with songs 2 and 4 really standing out.  "Hash Pipe" or "H*** Pipe" as it's known on MTV (aka: "Commie Central") is probably the best song on the album.  And I hate buying a CD only to find out the single is the best song, dammit. After song 4, the remaining 6 tracks (canadians: 10 total songs) blend into one, with each song sounding exactly like the previous.  I honestly couldn't give you the name of any song after "Knock Down, Drag Out", much less hum you a few bars.  It just starts sounding like this was supposed to be a "Besides" record or something.  Then again, I have been known to be too judgmental at times ("Judge Dredd"? Sucked.).

Well, take what you will from today's post, people, just remember the name of my new idol, DALER MENDHI.

Oh, and new Appletise Players comic coming soon, I promise.

You can visit Daler's site here: www.daler.com

"Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, what condition my condition is in..."

Look, *I* know it's been a while since I updated, but look, I've been sick.  And not like B-Boys "sick" or "ill", more like "hacking up lung butter" sick.  I missed one shift, and suffered through another one, and Im not even thinking about going to the doctor.  I'm assuming it'll just go away eventually.....or kill me.  Whichever.

I blame bennigans.

"I just dropped in to see what condition my condition is in"

"Hey, Mr. DJ, put a record on, I wanna dance with my baby..."

Apparently, music makes "the people" come together.  You wanna know what else does?  APPLETISE PLAYERS COMICS. That's right, dirtbags, there's a new Appletise Players comic, and this time they are recreating the infamous movie "The Matrix".  You can find it here, or just by clicking on the link in the sections section for Appletise players strip selection site.

You know, I could swear Madonna was one of the bougeousis.  I guess I was wrong.

"Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?"

Or maybe some ashes for trees?  I went and saw "The Mummy Returns"  last night, and hoo boy, did it suck.  I mean, this movie was REALLY REALLY bad, probably in the same caliber as "Battlefield Earth".  That's right, Battlefield Earth.  You know what, "Battlefield Earth" was better than this movie.  I had to go and say it.

This film was an absolute monstrosity, but I should have known.  When purchasing a ticket, I happened to notice that it was rated "PG-13".  Crap.  Well, maybe it's still good.  I've had no less than 4 people tell me it was good.  With this sort of rating however, I started to expect that this was to be a kids movie.  And it was.  A full out, bloodless, toned down, "get ready to see these toys at wal-mart" suck-fest of the utmost proportions.  All the characters were overdone and ripped off from actual good films like "Indiana Jones" and "Star Wars". I think the writers of "Mummy 2" wanted 5 year old to be able to understand the characters motivation, seeing as how every five minutes the two main characters would announce what their motivation actually was.  "My name is Brendan Fraser, and I like to punch stuff".  Just replace "Brendan Fraser" with whatever the hell his characters name was and you might have an actual line out of the movie.  A little note to the makers of this crap-burger: we know he likes to punch stuff, because we see him punch stuff constantly. The other characters fall into their own little place also, the pseudo-tough smart woman, the way too brave kid, the evil museum curator (apparently there was a different evil curator in the first one), the cowardly money hungry tag-along, and the greedy bounty hunters. Oh my god, that was one of the parts of the film where shooting myself sounded like a good idea.  There are three henchmen (greedy and evil, of course) who have to retrieve some box (you see them at the beginning of the film also, being greedy and stupid), and when they bring the box to get their money, they actually ask for more. Now this makes sense in a world were people never divert from their personality "construct" or whatever, like in action movies for kids.  Now, in every other world, people with an IQ above 10 would realize that they are handing the box over to some very apparently evil people, and they happen to be doing this exchange on a train with about 200 goons (who all work for the evil peeps) with fully automatic weapons. Listen, be happy with whatever money you get.  And runaway, fast. In this whole exchange, one of the bounty hunters actually says something like "this box is cursed". THEN YOU SHOULD REALIZE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE DEALING WITH. Maybe, just maybe, the museum curator that employs 200 rifle wielding goons and looks for evil cursed boxes IS ACTUALLY EVIL HIMSELF.  But no, they don't realize this, and they stick to their type casts all the way to the end.

With all the horrible character stuff aside, the movie is still bad.  For many many reasons.  "Well, how else does this movie suck?"  you might ask.  For one, no blood.  ok ok, there is some blood, like when someone gets scratched.  About 18 times in the film (I lost count) at some point in combat, one person will get knicked with a sword, or a knife, or a spear, or a fist maybe, then they will stop fighting, so the person can dramatically wipe away the blood.  Apparently none of the writers could come up with more ways to make someone look bad-ass.
"Hey, Steve, how do you think we can make this character look like one bad-ass dude?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh........hmmmmmmmmm......uhhhhhhhhhh....I......uhhhhhhhh.....welll, I guess we could have him wipe blood off himself."
"Ok Steve, so far we got Brendan Fraser, the skinny Kate Winslet girl, the main Mummy guy, The Rock, Rowdy Roddy Piper, three dog monsters, the kid, the secondary bad guy, and all two hundred of the gun wielding goons wiping blood off themselves."
"Sounds good.  And remember Bob, we are trying to keep the emotional range of each character to around a 2, k?
"Augh, this writing stuff is hard.  Can I be the janitor again?"

If you thought there would be blood in something like a full on battle,  you would be mistaken, my friend.  Oh, yes, people died, but not one drop of blood was shed.  At the very beginning the Rock and friends (including Junkyard Dog) start a war with, well, everyone and even though you will see someone get decapitated, everyone will retain all their blood. Maybe Im the only one thinking this but, if we are trying to protect our kids from seeing blood, then how about we protect them from seeing death? Obviously Head Removal via sword is PG-13 stuff,  Head Removal via sword accompanied with massive blood loss must be R.  This, this is stupid. Ok, BEYOND stupid, going into the retarded range.  I can see the headlines:

"Boy kills friend, not prepared for blood"

Tampa Bay, FL:  13 year old Justin Williams sliced friends Dustin Hilliards head off yesterday, and was obviously unprepared for the many many pints of bloodshot left Dustin's body and stained Justin's clothes and house. "Me and Dusty were fighting about who's Super Soaker soaked the most, and then he said my super soaker should be called just an 'Average Soaker', so that's when I decided to chop his head off, like in Mummy Returns". After the decapitation, Justin had to come to terms with the homeostasis failure of his friend. "It was all over the place.  It even ruined my 'Mummy returns' Super Action Hot Air Balloon with black sidekick action figure." Justin's family has brought Dustin's parents to suit for damages to the house's carpet and furniture.
 

No one wants to see this happen.

Well, besides the writing, bland action sequences, poor editing, and the fact that the movie lasted for-fucking-ever, that's about all that was wrong with this movie.  Oh wait, I forgot to mention one thing.  This is an actual line from the movie:

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size"

"'Cause I got loose Circuits, I seem to be the mother goose with the eggs that seems to be fallin'..."

You played yourself.  Im gonna try to complete another Appletise Players comic by the weekend, so get excited about that.  Today, I am gonna write an 'essay' or 'narrative' or 'whatever' about last night.  I get plenty of people asking me what's it like to be an EMT, and what not, and maybe this'll sum it up.

3  Am.

I must be lonely.  Or asleep.  I get a knock on my dorm room at Methodist Hospital.

"Josh. You got a Neonate Run."

This sort of thing usually happens right after I fall asleep, or rather, right after I hit deep sleep.  I have to drearily throw on my overshirt, put on my boots, my pager, my cell phone, my glasses, wallet, keys, belt, and the keys to truck 626.  626 is bigger than most of the ambulances we have, and is designed for Neonatal (premature babies) calls because of the lifting platform in the back.  The isolettes (mobile isolation chambers) weigh about 350 pounds.

I climb aboard the monster that is 626 (it's a Ford e-350 power stroke diesel with a larger than normal box on the back, about the size of a Ryder Truck), and I radio in.

"Careflite Medic 29, pages received, responding at mileage 435"

I flip on the master power switch and happen to notice that this truck hasn't been setup for neonates.  Ugh.  I drag myself to the back, and it STILL seems to be 3 am.  I pull out the stretcher, remove the stretcher bars from the ground and replace them with a neonate tie down.  I check out the oxygen and air on the truck, good enough.  I already know from my pages that I just need to transport this kid from Baylor Birth Center to the Baylor Neonate ICU, which is just about across the street.  I finally get the truck set up and roll.

Whenever Im alone working at this time of night, I tend to get very affected by the music Im listening to.  The newish Bush song "Letting the Cables Sleep" was playing when I left Methodist,  and it quickly put me in a "Bringing out The Dead"-ish mood, which isn't very hard to do at 3 a.m. in downtown dallas, driving an ambulance.  By the time I got to Central Expressway, however, "Blister in The Sun" by the Violent Femmes had started playing, and as I started singing along with it (which is impossible not to do), I quickly noticed how bizarre everything had become.  I am actually driving this ambulance  at 3 am, to go transport a premature baby to Baylor.  Just as I was about to exit to get to Baylor, a Dallas Fire Department ambulance roared by me going code III (bells and whistles), and I couldn't help but thinking:

"Damn, I wish I was in that truck."

I pulled into Baylor and walk into the maternity ward.  I told the staff nurse that I was supposed to pick up a transport team for a neonatal call.  For some reason, no one told HER about this, so I was due for some confused looks.  It's way too late at night for confused looks.  Eventually, she contacts the transport team, and they meet me downstairs (all three of them) with the isolette.  We load up and one of the nurses gives me directions to this restored victorian style houses that contains the Baylors Birth and Women's Center.  The people that originally built this house had the lack of fore thought (and rightfully so) to plan any sort of way to get my ambulance close to a door.   After a couple sighs, I put it in reverse, and attempt to back up the driveway on the side of the house. "Oh, yeah, this is the way we come up all the time."
"Are you sure? This looks really steep, I don't know if the lifter will clear"
"I promise, we always back up the driveway"
After a loud "SSSSSSSCCCCCCCCRRRRRRUUUUUNNNNCCCCCCHHH" and "Oh, I think your truck is bigger than the other ones," I finally get the truck up the driveway.

Amongst the aforementioned shortcoming of this house not being built for ambulances, it was obviously not built with isolettes in mind either. But, with a little furniture banging, we get to the family and mid-wife nurses. I also get a look at our patient, a very normal pink looking baby that was born only 3 weeks premature (I've seen far worse), who is making a grunting noise with each exhalation.  This labored breathing was worrying the mid-wife, so she called us.  The transport team immediately started to set up the isolette and grilled the midwife and mother.  On these sorts of calls I  just kind of stand back and let the team do their thing, and mostly just do heavy lifting.  But I did notice that during the questioning, one of the nurses had asked if the baby had fed, and quite shockingly, the midwife said "Oh yes, he breast fed right away."
This caused a look of concern on all of our faces, one of the nurses especially, who almost formed a scowl at the mid-wife (when a premature baby is working hard to do something like breathing, it is highly inadvisable to have the child strain itself by working more, say, by feeding.  They might as well of had the kid do jumping jacks).

I'm pretty sure we were able to contain the looks we formed, because the mother and father were very calm.  Calm, that is,  until we placed their newborn in our isolette, and attached oxygen.  I can only suppose that seeing your baby in an isolette is a very traumatic thing, it almost appears as if they are in a bubble, attached to a ventilator.  Only the transport nurses and I knew that this was only for safety precautions, and that it probably wasn't that serious.  As another precaution however, the lead nurse had to warn the mother about what they might have to do to her child.
"We will be taking x-rays of your sons chest, and based on the results of the x-rays we may have to attach him to a ventilator"
I could instantaneously see the mother's face completely drop with the word "ventilator".  The once subdued mom's face became rosy red, and she began to cry.  Then she looked straight at me and asked "Will my son be ok?" all the while barely choking out the words.
'Why is she looking at me' I asked myself.  That's when I noticed, the dad and I are the only males in the room.  One of the Nurses looked at me as if to say 'Well, go tell her it'll be ok'.  So I did. I told her what everything was for, how everything worked, and that if her son had been this strong, there is no reason for him to give up now. We finished the questions and left.

  One small "SSSSSSSCCCCCCCCRRRRRRUUUUUNNNNCCCCCCHHH"   and a "I think I saw sparks that time", and we were at Baylor Neonate ICU.  The team moved the baby to another isolette, and I was done.  I grabbed some insurance information, and headed back to my station.  Driving down Stemmons is pretty wonderful at, what is it now, 4:30 in the morning.  I can see all of downtown as I zip along, and all the buildings look different.  It's as if I can tell that almost no one is in those buildings, or in those streets.  All the skyscrapers seem more monumental like this, everything is more serene.  From some odd twist of fate I was actually able to sleep the rest of the night.

"(DUH DUH, DUH DUH, DUH DUH, DUHHHHHH) Say it aint sooooooo,  your drug is a heart breakerrrrrrrr...."

My love is a life taker.  I know it's been a while since I last updated, but that was all because the aforementioned vacation to Austin.

Check back Tuesday Morning for a very much welcomed new update.

I could never forget my peeps.  No matter how easily placated they can be.

"Suckas write me checks and then they bounce....."

You can't front on that.  Well, everyone this is what I call impulse buying:

Me: "So, you wanna see a movie or something?"
John: "Uhhhhh, what's out?"
Me: "Well, I've seen everything good, so that leaves the bad movies. Wanna see a bad movie?"
John "Not really..."
Me: "Right.  Makes sense.  So.......wanna get tattoos?"

Here are the pics, numero uno, y numero dos .

Last shift I worked on Saturday was busy as hell, in the entire 24 hours, I only got one hour of sleep.  ARGH.  Almost had to help deliver a baby, also. DOUBLE ARGH.

I work a 24 tomorrow, and then Im off for FIVE days (paid time off, by the way) and Im gonna be spending it in Austin.  So, you fools better watch out.

Well, THAT didn't take too long.  The first performance of the Appletise Players can be found here, or you can click on the link in the sections portion.

ENJOY!!!  (coke)*

*Be sure to view the Christmas Dance video, the link is in the sections section.  It's some idiot (me) dancing, like an idiot.

"You vs. Me, that's like Ali vs. Foreman..."

Ok, peoples, I just got linked from a pretty damn popular site, www.wintoons.com, and thank god I switched the main site to a faster server just in time.  Already my hits have INCREASED TEN FOLD. When I first checked the stats, I laughed much akin to the way a mad genius would.  What do I have to thank for this?  Why it's Appletise, of course.  In fact, Im currently in production of a comic series featuring applies, with the heads of famous stars on them, and they shall be called, The Appletise Players.  Oh, and everyone should be visiting Songfight.com.

Hey, you wanna know a good song?  Moby's "Everloving".  No joke, it's good.

I rarely ever make two updates in one day, but it just might happen this time.  Im gonna play around with the appletise players idea and I might have the first strip up today.

So, you know, check back later.

"Well, it's 15 cups of coffee and you knows it's on, I rocka the mic til the break of dawn..."

Makin' it up to y'all for the absence, so here's another update.

First off, I was supposed to make an adventure with the "Appletise Players", but because I woke up so damn late, that won't be possible.  But here is a little something to whet your appetite:

APPLETISE LETHAL WEAPON!!!!

But, I will not be able to finish all that until thursday, sorry.  But I can talk to you about the movie I saw last night, Memento.  I know I was also supposed to see Freddie Got Fingered, but I really wasn't up to it.  It ended up that Memento is one of the GREATEST movies ever made,  and everyone with eyes should go see it.  And blind people should force their dogs to watch it.

I actually arrived at the theater a little late, about 10 minutes, so I missed about 5 minutes of the movie.  BAD IDEA.  Luckily, the sound cut out, then the movie died.  Then they tried to start it off from the same point with sound, and righteously everyone objected, so they (AMC theaters) begrudgingly rewound it to the beginning.  YAY FOR ME!!!  Ok, I'll tell you right out that you cannot miss a second of this film, because everything is vitally important to watch, so no bathroom breaks either.

The film is about a man (Guy Pearce) that is out for vengeance, vengeance against ta man that raped and murdered his wife.  During the assault, Leonard (Guy Pearce) was struck in the head, and he now has a "condition". He cannot form any new memories since the accident, so he relies on a system of notes and tattoos to tell him what is going on.  The movie is played backwards, from memory to memory,  which I gotta tell you is fascinating.  You basically know what happens at the end, and then it rewinds to tell you how we all arrived here.  From the first scene, everything appears cut and dry, and I was left just wondering how he figured everything out, but as the movie progresses (or regresses, whichever) you realize that there is MUCH more to the situation.  It becomes a lot like a puzzle, and I would like to see more intelligent films like this.  Really well written, well directed, and the cast was great.  Oh and get this, two of the main characters from the "Matrix" appeared in this film, and boy were they good. And I HATED the matrix.  Kinda proves to me how much Matrix would of been different if the casted a quality actor for the lead.

Another update will appear (magically) on Thursday.

"And it wears you out......it wears you out"

Hard to believe that it has been 6 days since I have updated this site.  And that's a shame.

Well, I know you ALL have been waiting for it......THATS RIGHT!! You can now vote for who you think is the most beautiful person in the People 50 most Beautiful people list!!!  You yourself have the power to choose the most pretty!!  YAY!!  Im voting for George Clooney, he is just THE dreamyist.

Goddamn People magazine.  They represent everything I reject, and I hope their entire corporate office turns into marshmallows.  Cause then, the thing would collapse, and people would sink through the marsh mellows, and they would all be like "AUGH!! I'm drowning in marshmallow!!!  I really enjoy the taste of marshmallows, too!  Is this irony?  I wouldn't know, cause Im a hack journalist!!!  BRAD PITT IS FUCKING HOT!!! BLARGH!!!  MALLOW IN LUNGS!!!!  AUGH!!!".   Imagine how coo l that would be.

The very very nice Tony Esteves, creator of cigarro and cerveja, sent out his newsletter to fans, and I actually got three cartoons SENT TO ME, IN THE MAIL, nonetheless, all for free. What a nice guy, funny too.  I suggest you visit his site.

I have tentative plans on making this night a movie night, seeing as though I haven't seen a flick in OVER A MONTH AND A HALF.  I mean, Jesus H., what is my problem?  I think I'll see Memento, which is supposed to be the best movie ever, apparently, and so's I can ponder the plot twists, Im going to see "Freddie Got Fingered" right afterwards.  This movie is also supposed to be the best movie ever.  Who will win?  Oh, oh, you all shall find out tomorrow.

"Yes, yes, this is all very good and fine, but what about your car? " you ask?  Well, I have yet to get a ticket, and I haven't even wrapped it around a telephone pole (but if I did, all I would say is "Oh Brother", then I'd go buy another).  Im seriously considering saying "and I drive a black mustang" after all of my declarative statements.

I'll update again tomorrow, I promise.

News For 4/17/01:

"Delia, ooohhhhh Delia, Delia all my life.  If I hadn't shot poor Delia, I would of had her for my wife."

You gotta love Johnny Cash.

Did my 24 hour shift last night, and it sho was a toughie.  We didn't run a call until 1 p.m, but after that we ran calls until 1:00 A.M.  THAT'S RIGHT. ONE A.M.  I got about 5 hours of sleep, then we ran one last call in the morning.  Even though we worked like chumps, there were some pretty good runs.  All I say is one involves a corpse. I love my job.

Im still trying to come up with a gimmick (or hook, whatever) for this site, just so's I got something to do, and maybe attract readers that aren't just old high school friends, maybe do a twice-a-week comic or something.  If my scanner cable was intact, then I would already be doing this, but since it isn't, Im not.  If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to mail me.

Oh and if any ladies wanna get with this (even if it's cause of my car), you can blaze me up HERE.

"People say Im crazy, Im walking with Diamonds on the Soles of my Shoes."

So, busy busy Easter Weekend, what with me getting a new car and all.  That's right, humble ol' me got a 97 Ford Mustang, black of course, and it has a B.A. in Badassity.  REALLY.

Not much to say, just a really busy couple of days, and all my Sisters (3 of them) were in town this weekend, and also all my buddy buds from around the states, so suffice to say, I was flosssin' the ride HEAVILY.  It's gonna also be a bit longer before I move out, Edward seems to "want to do good at school" this semester, so in about three weeks, we'll be in bidness.  Although I still think the man is a chump.

With all this "career", "apartment", and "new car" stuff, I actually have to start planning the future, which sucks.  I gotta start thinking about where exactly I can work and move to, what city I want to live in, etc. etc.  I STILL want to move to Austin, but where do I work?  Where do I goto Paramedic school? Can I afford to live there? I mean, I gotta get these car payments out every month now...and blah blah blah.  I know it sounds weird but I normally hate having to set "goals", much less attaining them. I'd always rather live in the moment, being able to just pack up and move, or not move, or whatever.  Im starting to fall into a trap where my possessions are possessing me, or some such nonsense, but this car is just SO FREAKING BADASS.  Really fast, too.
 
 

I love Angelina Jolie. And I wish she knew I had this car...

I am currently listening to a band called the "Zoobombs", and I must say, they are quite the aural treat.  They are a Japanese band, straight out of Japan, and they are getting intermittent (like a windshield wiper) airplay on college radio in the states.  I must admit that I got most of their songs off of napster, and you probably can too, because I doubt if anyone is worried about selling pirated Zoobombs CD's.

So, any ways, the song that is playing is called "Pressure Drop", and like most zoobomb songs, the verses are in Japanese (makes sense), BUT THE CHORUS' ARE IN ENGLISH.   "Come wiss me baby, opeeen your mind, don't tell a lie,come on right now, baby if you feel so bad, clean your heart, wiss pressure drop", then it will proceed into "kyriooo con doochie mai dai kimmie co da daaichi wa babaloooooooooo".  Im guessing that there are more Japanese that speak english than americans that speak Japanese, so no wonder the Zoobombs art model is working WAY better in Japan.  Although I must say, Zoombombs could be the coolest band ever, this is because on their latest CD, they cover Spinal  Tap's "Gimmie Some Money".  I'm pretty sure every band formed after 1985 has wanted to cover Spinal Tap.  Zoobombs had the balls to do it.

Im gonna once again link to Exploding Dog, and yes I know the title of the web page sounds unappealing, but the content is really amazing.  There are no exploding dogs to speak of, but there IS a lot of really imaginative art by a very smart fellow.  Just check out this cartoon.

"WISSS PRESSURE DROP!!! COME PLEASE ME BABAAAA!!!"

Again, I do not have much of an update for y'all.  There has been some recent questioning about my dog, so if you want to see Caleb " The most Wonderfullest, be-Boppin'ist, frisbee-catchingist Dog ever", then click here, or here, or lastly, here.

Oh, and to go with the theme of "Fight the Power" lyrics, I include these, which very well may have influenced both "Footloose" AND "Dirty Dancing".  I find it hard to believe that there was some sort of collective dance repression going on in the '80s.

Safety Dance
By: Men Without Hats

Ssss-Aaaa-Ffff-Eeee-Tttt-Yyyy
Safety-Dance!

Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to, A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
and we can dance

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
and we can dance.

Francois!

Ah we can go when we want to the night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
and surprise 'em with the victory cry

I Say we can act if want to if we don't nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And i can act like an imbecile
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody takin' the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Ah yes the safety dance

Ssss-Aaaa-Ffff-Eeee-Tttt-Yyyy
Safety-Dance

We can dance if we want to, we've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right
I say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're are no friends of mine
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we're doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody's takin' the chance
Oh Well the safety dance
ah yes the safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Oh yes the safety dance
Oh the safety dance yeah
Oh it's the safety dance
It's the safety dance
Well it's the safety dance
Oh it's the safety dance
Oh it's the safety dance
Oh it's the safety dance
Oh it's the safety dance

News For 4/8/01:

Well, once again, I just got off a 24 hour shift, although this time, I worked the day before also.  So, now Im doubly worn out.

No big thang, however, just nothing buzzing around the ol' brainpan.  So instead of writing anything GOOD, I'll just post a few links to some funny articles.

Seanbaby article about an exploding bear.
Seanbaby quip about Jesse Ventura.
Oldmanmurray review of Freedom Force (or something to that degree).
Gamespy Daily Victim (may only appear to comp geeks)

Maybe I'll write something next wednesday, hopefully Monday when I get back from College Station.

I will eat freebirds, OH YES I WILL.

Wow, feels like I updated not two days ago.  I ROCK!!

Oh, and a little addendum to my comments on china.  Things seem to be escalating, and even though have lost a war because of China before, here is my  artist's rendering of what is gonna happen to China if they don't back off.

I just recently got off my 24 hour shift, which lemme tell ya, was HELL.  We ran TWELVE mother-facking calls.  That's A LOT.  We barely got any time to sleep at all, much less relax.  It was getting sort of "Bringing Out The Dead" for a bit. At some point in a busy day, I have this habit of "snapping", to common observers it might seem like a "second wind", but to me it seems much worse than that.  Usually after the 10th call in a row or thereabouts, I suddenly get very hyper, and I'll turn the radio up real loud,  and then "BAM", it's on.  On until the break of freaking dawn.  It very well could be my mind's way of coping with the fact that I have just worked 10 hours, but I still got 14 more to go.

None of the calls I had last night were all that interesting, although before I got on shift, another Dallas Ambulance Company (Greater Dallas Ambulance, I believe) got in a wreck and apparently FLIPPED OVER, and the patient died.  Hearing something like that will make you edgy (much like Mountain Dew Commercials) all day, nonetheless.

I think it's time I took a nap.

News For 4/3/01:

I should have updated a while ago, but I spent too much time relaxing.  So screw you.

When I arrived to work on Sunday morning, I heard two CRAZY-ASS pieces of news.  First, a jump plane (a plane which people jump from) crashed about 20 miles form where I live.  AND EVERYONE SURVIVED.  Only 1 or 2 people had to stay overnight in a hospital.  When me and my partner arrived, we were told by the outgoing crew that our radio frequency was just commandeered by CareFlite air. Apparently, we sent FIVE helicopters out to the crash scene.  And the worst injury was a torn ankle.

Second, we had a spy plane crash in China.  Now, does anyone else remember what happened last time when a spy plane went down in communist country?  Well, this got REAL hairy, and I personally don't trust W to be able to pull us out of this one.   Back when the election was going on, I got into a habit of telling people "George W Bush is going to get us blown up", and the thing was I was usually only half kidding.  Now it looks like he will.  I wonder if I can get drafted.....

In other freaking news.....I got me a cell phone.  So, now I wear a pager AND a cell, with a hands free kit to boot.  I feel like a total chode.  For some reason, since I can afford stuff like this, I somehow justify to myself that they are necessary, like "once you get paid this much, you gotta have this stuff".  And it's kinda true, my work assigned the pager, and I get important info from it, and I NEED it when I work, no question. The cell phone is more of a convenience, at work there is plenty of times when I have to actually call dispatch, so the cell is great then, and it's just plain convenient .  Plus I got a great deal, and I highly recommend everyone go to Cingular to get your service, I got a deal from them much like a buffet. But I do have one HUGE problem with Cingular.

Cingular Wireless has this one commercial where they play a bunch of famous quotes through their new little mascot thingy, as if to say "cingular promotes self expression", but then they play Martin Luther King Jr. saying "Free at last! Free at last!". And I just saw ANOTHER commercial using the same speech for ANOTHER communications company.  Look, it is just WRONG to use the civil right movement to promote cell phones, ok? WRONG!  We should not, as a culture, accept the fight for equality of our minorities to be used to promote ANYTHING, much less cell phones.  I see this as wrong as using the Holocaust or the Destruction of the Indian nation in commercials.

"Here at Juicy Juice, we believe that our juice is SO PURE, that even Hitler himself would endorse us."

Cut scene to Hitler at a speech podium with a bottle of Juicy Juice white grape juice graphically placed next to him

"DIE HARRRSERFULT MIEN FROOOOSHIN MACH IEN BEEEEENORFULTSHARCHT!!!"

All Images are original and copy written by Ed Franklin Productions